Nowhere to escape

It’s the big dilemma for an Indian man whether to take care of old parents dealing with one after the other issues related to their health and the side to give time to kid n his wife .

Indian society expects man to be present for the family and if he don’t he is not gonna considered to be a good son .

He has his share of struggles.

But is it fine to sideline them ? ..the word sideline may not be the right one but when he is not able to present with the baby n wife ..with the family he has created than that’s sidelining in one way.

सोचा था एक छोटा सा आशियाना बनायेंगे

परन्तु परिस्थिति ऐसे हुई की अधूरा ही रह गया

वह आशियाना मेरा तुझ संग

But

जानती हूँ की तेरे हिस्से हैं काफ़ी जिम्मेदारियों से भरा पिटारा

पर मेरे हिस्से भी नहीं कुछ कम जिम्मेदारिया

इस नन्ही सी जान की

जो निभानी पड़ती हैं अकेले ही

vichaar आया की कैसे मैनेज करती हैं

single पैरेंट्स

तरस गई हूँ सुकून की नींद को

शायद मेरी हालत भी सिंगल पैरेंट सी हो रखी हैं

आजकल

शायद लिख कर मन को

शांत कर लेती हूँ में

पर तुम कैसे करते होंगे अपने मन की व्यथा

को मैनेज

शायद

लड़कियां टूटने पर तो रो कर अपना मन कर लेती हैं हल्का

But

लड़को को तो समाज ने कठोर बने रहना का ज्ञान जो रखा हैं

रोएँगे तो कमजोर हो जाएँगे ना

क्यो नहीं कहता समाज की

रोना कमजोरी की निशानी नहीं हैं

Lapatta ladies !!!

Recently I am reading a book called Urmila (Sita’s sister).As this book is so wonderful it keeps me hooked and I Urmila ,sunayna(raja janak’s wife I.e Sita and Urmila’s mother ) and maharani sumitra (Lakshman’s mother).

world only knows the struggles Ram,Sita and Lakshaman has faced in the jungle but the emotional turmoil through which newly wed Urmila has gone through was never highlighted.

A women holds husband’s hand and come to his family ,to a whole new world but when she is being left alone to take care of husband’s family ..strange why is this women’s duty to take care of the family when their son is not around .she was being left alone may be surrounded by many but women feels alone when husband not around.

such was the story of Urmila sister of Sita ,Sita went along with her husband.Women can be very happy even in jungle ..in a hut having not much or I can say no luxury at all but husband by aside she can be the happiest as for her husband is the world.

Urmila was the most brave character of the greatest epic of times “The Ramayan”.Its not at all easy for a women to stay without her husband that to for 14 years .one can’t stay without 14days.

let me tell u can’t even stay without him for a week that to feels lots of emotional roller coasters.

Actually her mother seems to be more braver than her as she raised such an emotionally strong daughter. Her character has bever been highlighted.

she might have a struggled a lot to cope up with the fact that her both daughters who were raised with lots of love n care and determined to take their own decisions.

In Mithila,Raja Janak and Rani Sunayana involved all the four girls in every day decisions of darbar.

Sunayana raised Sita , Urmila ,Mandavi and Kirti in the same manner and gave the same values.Actually she seemed to be more protective about Sita who was not born like Urmila to her.

Mandavi and Kirti had lost their mother very early so all these four girls were raised by Sunayana who was more protective of them than Urmila who was born through her.

Urmila was said to be determined,intelligent,curious from childhood.

Saumitra/Sumitra the mother of Lakshman and shatrughan.she was said to be calm n compost in every situation and the lady who let her son go along with ram and serve the elder brother in jungle. She is also one of the hidden characters of the Ramayan who was the back light or I can say back power of the family in every grievous situation.

But these brave ladies were never ever highlighted.

Just think how these ladies have been handling their emotional storms.

Urmila was really a strong character, stronger than any other from our past stories.

Its never ever easier to leave alone without Husband and that to for so long handling emotions all alone.She seriously had lot of inner strength which helped her to deal with the loneliness in the crowd.

Without husband one feels alone in spite of being surrounded by a village.

One son of the family

Initially we think one son and small family etc etc all goodie goodie

Haha haha

But

it’s not at all like that

you will never be accepted as one of them so easily baby.

Never ever get married to one son of the family

I seriously regret now as I am not able to handle all the emotional roller coaster I am through.

I am seriously hating the life has become now

you can’t stay together

you will always be a second priority(invisible fact)

No stability to settle at one place(sometimes I think I should get settled at hometown at least their might be stable life )

few days with husband ,few days at in-laws

you alone have to take care of your baby

He working in other city you staying in other long distance relationship

you even can’t go to pee at night as baby will get up along with you

you will not have him to hold and help you many such little things

There is so much going on inside me but don’t know find words to express it.

So called society ,family expects you to present for the family duties ignoring the storm going inside.

Indian society sucks !!

Voice out

Today I happen to go for my baby’s Aadhar along with my father in law

I took all the documents handy as it was the first time for my baby to visit Aadhar Kendra for enrollment.

Something strange happened with me ..I was in my Rajouri dress I don’t know know why do I feel under confident when in Rajputi suit .

The operator guy was very cordial entering all the details ,took baby’s photo and entered all the details and made me go check every detail as well and gave me the receipt after submission.

As I was asking information if any issue happen with address in Aadhar then can I come and change it here and such other questions.He might have thought that I don’t know much about the process and he asked me for 100 rupees at last after form submission and I gave it without telling him that this service is free inspite I am being aware if the fact.

After coming back home I was self pity why did not said him no when I was aware of the rules.

I said everything to my father in law and mother in law and said I am going back to the Aadhar enrolment centre .

Matter is not of 100 rupees but my self respect and i was fooled and I went back and as soon I asked him why did he took amount from me he gave me back without resisting.

The I scolded him how can he make people fool and take money .

people are aware nowadays you can’t make them to pay for services which are free of cost.

This may be a small incident but for me it was something for which action needed to be taken .

#corruption #aadhar #enrollment #governmentservice

Me and my Time !!

Me time or my time

never knew its importance until I became mom.

Today got me time after very long time then I understood how much I was carving for this time.

Motherhood is a beautiful but we are also humans we tend to get tired of these motherly duties and yes of course wife duties and daughter in law duties.

So for women like me or I can say who are juggling in the same phase as me can understand how much we need this me time .

when I got this time today I am unable to think upon what I would like to do.

Before this I was like I wants to do this and this what not was going on in my mind but right now I am like just chill moment .

loosing track of things and have become so aloof of what’s going on in the world.

I dont even remember dates as well leave either world or country events …haha lol

I think I am just enjoying this outdated version of me -the version in which I am unaware of everything other than my baby .

Today thought to start writing again but what to write ?when ??

how to start ?

so many things going on

Hopefully I will find myself soon on the track I used to be

along with loving this beautiful creature’s naughtiness

As they say

“Me time is not a luxury but it’s a necessity “

प्यार ,तीज और त्यौहार

क्या महत्व होता त्योहारों का

कभी सोचा ही नहीं था

तुमसे मिलकर जाना

क्यों सजती हैं स्त्रियां

क्या होता हैं तीज का त्योहार

जाना अभी की सारा श्रृंगार

तुम्हारे लिए ही तो हैं

अभी सजना अच्छा इसीलिए लगता

हैं की तु हैं तो दिल धड़कता हैं

तू हैं तो साँस आती हैं

तू हैं तो सजना सवारना हैं

तू हैं तो त्योहारों की महक हैं

तू हैं तो मेहंदी की महक हैं

तू हैं तो पायल की छन छन हैं

तू हैं तो मेरा श्रृंगार हैं

तू हैं सब हैं

In a blink of an eye !!

आज में हर रोज़ से थोड़ी जल्दी उठ गई

और बैठी तुमको निहारती

लग रहा था की

कल ही तो तुम आई हो हमारी ज़िंदगी में

परी बनकर एक बहुत ही प्यारी सी परी

जैसे सोनपरी आती थी फ्रूटी से मिलने

तुम्हारे आने की राह तकते थे हम

बहुत वक्त लगाया तुमने आने में

नौ महीने और ग्याराह दिन लगा दिया आने में

और जैसे ही तुम आई डॉक्टर ने कहा

सोनू देख तेरी नन्ही सी दोस्त आई हैं

अभी तक जो दर्द ट्यून सहा हैं सब

वाजिब था देख एक नज़र इसकी तरफ़

डॉ मैमूना ने कहा और तुझको दिख या मुझको

रूम के बाहर तुम्हारी नानीसा(मम्मी) खड़ी थी

तुम्हारे इंतिजार में मैमूना जी ने उनको गले से

लगाया गले से बोला बधाई हो

आपकी दोइती आई हैं

तुम्हारे पापा पंद्र की रात सोए ही नहीं

पहुचना जो था उनको तुम्हारे पास

तुम आई ९:४५ सुबह और तुम्हारे पापा

पहुच गए तुमसे मिलने १:३० बजे

कैसे कैसे पहुंचे वह तुम तक यह तो

जीव जानता हैं उनका

जैसे ही तुमको देखा आँखे भर आई उनकी

हमने जिस कुकरिए की कल्पना की थी

वह आज हमारे सामने थी

एक परी जो स्वर्ग से सीधे

हमारी ज़िंदगी में उतरी थी

और पलक झपकते ही १ साल

की भी होगयी