I am not talking here about daughters of the family but so called Bahu's of the family.
Are they equally happy as daughter of the house ?
I don't like joint family as a Bahu but love to be a part as a daughter.
Indian societ theoretically says that daughter in law(DIL)is like daughter but are they really the daughter of the house ??
DIL should be
* In the kitchen whole day in the kitchen.. fulfilling the wishes of the house members.
*Daughter in law have to get up early and prepare in the morning as she is healthy and can't let her body fall ill ..she is Robot..man.
*She can't say anything if her mother in law ..the lord of the house is wrong.
*She can't even say her MIL that it slipped her mind (about whatever she might have said earlier..may be any work)
*DIL must remember and do whatever work was said to her.
*She have to get up even when she don't feel like ..and cook for everyone.
*If she gets up late ..7'o clock then she will be asked what's the time? You get up every day early for your office.
All the above happens in a small family..like father in law, mother in law , husband n DIL
Then think
What will be the situation of her in joint family.
She will be forgetting..or made to forget what a life is ??
She will be made to feel that she is born to work as a servant..her whole life.
Having no time for herself but having lot of jewellery..bahu is decorated with kilos of gold...is enough for her ??
Will it be giving her satisfaction of her life ??
We might have heard from man of the houses ..our husbands..that they wants to live in a joint family..have they imagined what will be the condition of his wife ??
He might get whatever he wants ...will not be asked to do any household chores.
Bahu's are meant for it .They are married to get wives who just have to serve the in law family..she may not have any want of staying with her husband if he is working in some other city.
Do they really have a hum saath saath hain wali life ??
Aren't they dying inside every day ??
Can't say their parents ..can't leave everything and go to them as they will be like log kya kahenge??
I grew up in a joint family. And honestly speaking, I have never seen my mom having a tough time. She was a working women, and my grand ma was also working. I agree, that few households are still following the stereotyped norms and expectations from their DILs. But, I would say, now times are changing and girls are also equally educated so they should also take care of their self respect.
ReplyDeleteThe trend of living apart is the best today. Even if it is on different floors in the same building it is good. As they say distance makes the heart grow fonder.
ReplyDeleteYes I had seen that type of culture in many Indian household. in fact, few of my cousins had hard time in getting adjust in their families due to that kind of atmosphere. hope things change in future for better.
ReplyDeleteCant say if it happens in all, but yes in many households the condition of DIL's is like the one u have mentioned in the article. Hope things change for better soon.
ReplyDeleteI'd say it depends and differs between families. There are families which understand the plight of the daughter in law and give her the needed privacy and the life she wants her way
ReplyDeleteThe situation may vary, even a nuclear family can set very high and unreal expectations from the DIL. Whatever the situation is, women should know to stand up for themselves in every situation.
ReplyDeleteThings have changed to some extent but yes we do see such families where women are treated badly or have no say.
ReplyDeleteIts Sad, but that a story of many households in India, especially in rural and smaller cities. though that common and expected from a DIL but I believe its a personal choice, thing may change if the DIL speak up and arrive on a mutually decided setup that works for them
ReplyDeleteIn 21st century also, we have these stories coming out of every house. It has became very important for a women to become independent so that she can lead the lives wherever she is.
ReplyDeleteIt all depends on the perspective of the each person in the house. With changing times and understanding things are going smooth , but you are right still we have houses where woman is treated as robot.
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