Ignorance can save Relationships??

Shivani ..shared a tid-bit (I don't know whether this word exists or not )kind of relationship with both her brother's..Ajay and Rahul.

She has always been very emotional person ...married for two years...Ajay was also married.

She actually never knew what is an ideal brother sister relationship has to be.

She has only seen Ramakrishna sir and Saraswati Didi's bond ...when she used to go to tuition in her tenth class..to Ramakrishna sir.

Saraswati Didi's and Ramakrishna sir were like best buddies to each other..when she used to see her ..she always admired their brother sister bond.

And always thought..even she will have such bond with her brother's ..as they grow up.

Their bond was always the same ...and after marriage..her sis in law and husband also shared a good bond... sitting together...pulling each other's legs... standing for each other.

Is Shivani thinking much to share such bond with her brother's.

Whenever she visited her parents home after wedding...either Rahul or Ajay might have spited out something or the other..no vacation went without crying.

Her bond is strained with both her brother's..she keeps on thinking..is she soo bad that none of them share a cordial relationship with her.

Ajay have no habit of talking without shouting and .. taunting about her upsc preparation. Which she was never able to qualify.

Rahul ..being a doctor.. whenever opens his mouth ...foul language.. comes out.

Having no qualities of a educated man.

Few words becomes unbearable...which may lead to straining of their relations.

Is not sometimes..ignoring foul words by one and shouting..or taunts of the other...good for relationship.

Parents asks her to stay away from them ...don't sit with them ..when you know their habits ... behaviour.

Sometimes she gets to hear from loved ones that she don't try to have good relationship and like all other married daughters...she is throwing tantrums..not trying to mend the relationship with brothers.

Shivani never understood when did she said anything and that was not good for the bond.

When Rahul got married ..he never hesitated to scold her ...(His elder sister) before any guest ..about anything..

According to her ..she was running here and there .. helping her parents in the wedding festivities.

Now she has started thinking not to go to Ajay's wedding.. leaving everything at her side...she is afraid..when and where she might be insulted again at that time.

Bond between Brother's and sister have..

1.Taking care of each other.

2.She is not being taken care when she is highly pregnant.

3.No day goes ..even in her this phase .. without a tear.

4.If she opens her mouth ..asked to go to her home (husband's home )...as parents home is not her.

5.If she is in any troubled and called for any help ...that has always gone in vein .

6.If they talk properly..with little respect would make her day ... that's all she wanted ..always..

And what she has to say..and how much she needs to ignore to save this bond??

How much Ignorance is good ??

Why she is made to feel ..she is the reason for this strained relationship???

Unki toh aadat hain ..tu light liya kar ..arre kuch bolu toh light loon na ...kisi ko kuch bola hi nahi toh ..how am I spoiling this relationship???

Embracing New Innings of Life!!

As now just countable days are left to the D- day ...I don't know whether to be excited..happy or what ?

There are many things going on inside every day as the days shrink.

I know ..we have been planning..and were waiting for this day ...for this dream.

Then why does it scares me ?

May be I must leave everything on the universal energy...the way I did during our wedding.

The way I just trusted that I have you and you will be taking care of everything..this time also I must be doing the same ?

As of now you are busy in your tight schedule...we talk everyday..but ..I am not able to express the feeling of afraidness ...the storm going on in my mind .

They say ..all this is worth until you see your little one in your arms ...I don't know ???

After going through this phase I tend to understand.. embracing motherhood is not easy and hats off to all the women out there ..who have faced many difficulties in their life ..during this phase and went on .

When I get to hear from my mom ..about her life when she was pregnant with me and brothers ...staying in big families..life was very difficult..inspite of all the odds ..she never gave up..

That was the time when women was not that open to even her spouse or parents and couldn't even complain about every day difficulties her body has to go through...the way I do now.

Then also it scares me .

Will I be able to life off all the responsibilities easily??

Many questions goes on and off air in mind ??

Is it only me or every woman who is on this path goes through similar questions??

Have seen my friends who were working at reputed organizations at very good positions...giving up their career .. for kids..changing their lives upside to down.

Is it the way life becomes afterwards??

Don't know whether my questions are right or wrong.. know nothing.

Thinking about the labour room ..shivers runs down my body .

Hopefully at the end all my fears ..goes off ..

We tend to look stronger but deep down we know what's going on in.

आशियाना

चाह नहीं मुझे बड़े बड़े घरों की

चाह नहीं मुझे लंबी लंबी गाडियों की 

चाहु बस एक छोटा सा आशियाना

जहा कर सकू अपने जी की

चाह हैं बस खुल कर जीने की

खुल कर बोलने की 

चाहु बस एक छोटा सा आशियाना

जहा कर सकू अपने मन की

जहा रो लूं खुल कर 

जहा बोल सकू खुल कर 

चाहु बस एक छोटा सा आशियाना

जहा कर सकू अपने मन की

जो लगे न मुझे पराया 

सजाऊ जिसे अपने चाहा 

चाहु बस एक छोटा सा आशियाना

जहा कर सकू अपने मन की

और चाहु तुझे जिस संग 

जिसने सिखाया जिंदगी हैं पलों का अफसाना 

चाहु बस एक छोटा सा आशियाना

जहा कर सकू अपने जी की

चाहें हो छोटा सा जहा 

पनपता हो प्रेम जहा 

चाहु बस एक छोटा सा आशियाना

जहा कर सकू अपने जी की 

कहते हैं लड़कियों का 

न होता हैं घर कोई अपना 

में तो बस खोजू घर तुझमें कही

जिससे कह सकू में मेरा आशियाना 

Changing Definitions of Birthday Celebration!!

As we grow old ... birthday's seems to loose the charm from our life...as it's a fact that life ...and stages of life doesn't remain same 

Except WhatsApp status and Instagram stories .. birthday are same usual days as other days of the year.

Once upon a time ..that's when we were kids ...now we have our own kids ...I used to count the days from Jan or Feb itself ...as March month started ..as this was the exam's time .

When I was in school almost fifteen days before birthday,Mind used to start gamble upon topics/questions..which now seems to be insane

-My Birthday dress..I used to back of my mom dad ...for dress.

-Friend to whom you will be taking along with you to teachers for giving chocolates.

-I even used to think about the box in which you will put your chocolates..haha 😂

As you go to college,

Your celebrate it with them.

In the first year of engineering we used to vist Mc'd on each and every one's birthday..we were almose 8 members in our group.

They gifted me make up ...haha ..and literally they put on my face ..as I hated it..and dressed simply..I mean I was like a tomboy.

In our second year ..we started celebrating our birthday's in an boys orphanage.

From 3rd year,we started movies along lunch.

After the entry of WhatsApp in our life... WhatsApp groups used to be formed excluding the one ..whose birthday is approaching.

These groups..like Jacobian clubs/groups used to be the place ..digital space ..to discuss about contribution..ideas ..how and where to celebrate..it used to be planned out well before hand .. surprising the birthday girl ( I was in the girls college).

Then again after coming home ..my students..my tuition students..from all the batches used to visit and every batch used to get cakes .. students of the particular year ..all the classes..they used to decorayone of the room or terece..and letting me enter only after they are prepared..lol ...that was all fun ..that was the time worth living.

Before corona ..and before my wedding..that was the last year of such kind of celebrations...I think I miss ..all the fun I used to have with my students..dancing till 10pm along with them.my college friends kalyani and Pooja also used to visit home ..and kalyani used to dance her heart out along with kids .. 😂😆

Every phase is very important in our lives.

Then comes the birthday's..when your style of celebration changes..as you gets married.

Now your spouse surprises you with surprise trips.

This is my 3rd birthday after marriage..and this time I just feel like staying at home .. sitting calmly in peace and that's the kind of day is itself seems to be a celebrations in itself.

Maybe we tend to expect less from people..from life.

Kind of celebrations keeps changing as you age or enter a new phase of life ..it may be being a wifey,mother !!

Accepting  it and embracing it !!

College life is always the best and having girls groups  is a blessing!!

Life has moved on ..every one is doing best at their pace .

You might not be talking everyday but you feel immense happiness..as soon as any new picture from any of your friend pop's up on social media sites ..

Some people gives you memories for lifetime and college friends are Indeed those.

You again get some gems at your work place and they can't be forgotten and I am blessed to have them in life...who keeps on reminding me of my college days ..all the fun 90's kids could have .. irrespective of the states in which they have grown up.

Note:90's kids have done almost all the things in the same way !!

If anything forgotten.. would love to hear!!

This blog post is part

of the blog ‘Blogaberry Dazzle’ Blogaberry Challenge

hosted by Cindy D'Silvaand Noor Anand Chawla

in collaboration with Mads Cook House

Tug of war between ❤️ and 🧠

Samiksha and Dhruv are pregnant of 5 months ..Their 6th month was about to start.

Samiksha was in Bangalore for her first Trimester and after that she came to her in law's place ..stayed their for a week and trust me it was the hardest week of her life ...crying crying ..no sleep ..as she wanted dhruv.. she went with Dhruv to Delhi after that ..as he took her with him seeing her condition .....and was staying from past two months.

After staying for two months she was feeling home sick ...and he was about to visit his parents but she didnt wanted to go to her In Law's place and instead booked tickets for her place..i.e Bangalore.

On the day of leaving ..i.e on 1st of March ...her flight was around 11:20 am.

As soon as she booked her tickets on 29th Feb ..she couldn't stop crying ...

You all might be like why was she crying??

She must be happy as she was about to leave for her own place.

But she was not happy 

Why so ??

As She just wanted to stay with Dhruv ..live and feel every moment of their pregnancy phase with him..whom she loved immensely..who was her life and vice versa.

In the evening as he was back from office..they both were very emotional and till next morning this time they couldn't decide whether to leave for her own place or in law's place ??

On the day of 1st March ...From 3:40am she couldn't sleep...and she was unable to decided whether to leave or not ?

She was facing the battle ...a war between her heart and mind.

This was the first time that they were not able to decided anything...she was just blank till 8am ..the time when she had to leave for the airport.

The last night they even tried to find out how to cancel the flight ticket and respective airlines refund policy.

In the morning twice or thrice they thought of cancelling but didn't do .

Finally,by 8:10am she cancelled it and didn't go to Bangalore and Instead decided to visit her in law's place along with him.

She was unable to understand what was happening and why she was not able to take one step.

What was this tug of war ?

Why this happened?

What was happening to her ?

Why she don't want to go to her home where she can her own time ...mental peace.

Is she the only one who came across such a situation?

This blog post is part

of the blog ‘Blogaberry Dazzle’ Blogaberry Challenge

hosted by Cindy D'silva and Noor Anand Chawla

in collaboration with Mads Cook House

Emotional Intimacy >>Physical Intimacy

Recently I came across one of the posts of my fellow bloggers...in which she has mentioned about Emotional Intimacy..and after reading it this word was doing rounds in my mind.

But What exactly Emotional Intimacy is  ??

Seriously saying I didn't knew about it ...we all may be going through this phase in our life or have gone through this ...but untill I read about it and gone through it ...I might never knew that how important is Emotional intimacy than physical intimacy.

According to my understanding..it is a phase in your life ..where you are naked of all emotions..I mean ...you have nothing hidden inside you ...you and your partner/husband becomes so transparent with each other ... sharing each and every phase ..part .. experience... whether it's good experience or bad experience..is being shared with each other.

That's when I can say .. emotional intimacy had been achieved..may be to some extent..or may be fully.

It's means your level of relationship has been matured level.

And when you are in this phase or have achieved it ...you guys becomes best friends ... sharing everything..having no burden inside you.

There is no scope of judgement...you both don't judge each other on your past experiences...like best friends.

And if there is anything..he/she will be the first person to explode everything.. whatever is going on within us.

Emotional intimacy is much more than physical intimacy.

There will no scope for any insecurities

And emotions can be shared freely with out any second thought.

This blog post is part

of the blog ‘Blogaberry Dazzle’ Blogaberry Challenge

hosted by Cindy D'Silva and Noor Anand Chawla

in collaboration with Bohemian Bibliophile

Being a Housewife is a Full time job !!

While scrolling through the Instagram I got across a clip of bbc ..on how a couple named Priyanka and Praveen decided to take some major decisions to raise their son Ojas.

Both of them were working but then they decided that till 6month of their baby boy Priyanka will stay at home to feed him and take care of him.As soon as he starts taking the upper food...other than mother's milk ..she will resume her work and Praveen will be leaving his job to take care of their son and house.

I was like wowww..he wanted to experience parenthood..so he quit job..and realised the importance of his mother's work.

See when I saw this ..I was like woww ..he left his job n all ..Indeed it's a good example for the society..new change to be seen ...a good change.

But when a women leaves her job after becoming mother ...is she appreciated by the society in the same way ?

It's considered that it's her job to give first priority to her family.

Being a Housewife is not at all an easy job...

Yes it's a full time job ..and I think each one of us who are house wives never ever shy away of telling they are so ..when asked ..what does she do ??

She must mention ..a proud HOUSE WIFE in her bio ...her introduction.

It's no less than any other work ..office or any business..etc

Once while having a conversation with my husband I was like yar being a Housewife is not valued in outside world .. I am nothing in the eyes of the world..he said .. it's a big lie.. myth that house wives are nothing...but they are much much more than any other person who is working to earn income ...House wives are the biggest support system for their family..doing multi tasking ...building their kids future ...they are the spinal cord of their husbands.. families.

You must never ever feel guilty or lesser than any other working women..you must be proud of being so if you have quit your job for your family.

Being a Housewife must be a choice ..it must be ones choice to do job or being a stay at home mom. 

This blog post is part

of the blog ‘Blogaberry Dazzle’ Blogaberry Challenge

hosted byCindy D'Silva and Noor Anand Chawla

in collaboration with Bohemian Bibliophile