Changing Definitions of Birthday Celebration!!

As we grow old ... birthday's seems to loose the charm from our life...as it's a fact that life ...and stages of life doesn't remain same 

Except WhatsApp status and Instagram stories .. birthday are same usual days as other days of the year.

Once upon a time ..that's when we were kids ...now we have our own kids ...I used to count the days from Jan or Feb itself ...as March month started ..as this was the exam's time .

When I was in school almost fifteen days before birthday,Mind used to start gamble upon topics/questions..which now seems to be insane

-My Birthday dress..I used to back of my mom dad ...for dress.

-Friend to whom you will be taking along with you to teachers for giving chocolates.

-I even used to think about the box in which you will put your chocolates..haha 😂

As you go to college,

Your celebrate it with them.

In the first year of engineering we used to vist Mc'd on each and every one's birthday..we were almose 8 members in our group.

They gifted me make up ...haha ..and literally they put on my face ..as I hated it..and dressed simply..I mean I was like a tomboy.

In our second year ..we started celebrating our birthday's in an boys orphanage.

From 3rd year,we started movies along lunch.

After the entry of WhatsApp in our life... WhatsApp groups used to be formed excluding the one ..whose birthday is approaching.

These groups..like Jacobian clubs/groups used to be the place ..digital space ..to discuss about contribution..ideas ..how and where to celebrate..it used to be planned out well before hand .. surprising the birthday girl ( I was in the girls college).

Then again after coming home ..my students..my tuition students..from all the batches used to visit and every batch used to get cakes .. students of the particular year ..all the classes..they used to decorayone of the room or terece..and letting me enter only after they are prepared..lol ...that was all fun ..that was the time worth living.

Before corona ..and before my wedding..that was the last year of such kind of celebrations...I think I miss ..all the fun I used to have with my students..dancing till 10pm along with them.my college friends kalyani and Pooja also used to visit home ..and kalyani used to dance her heart out along with kids .. 😂😆

Every phase is very important in our lives.

Then comes the birthday's..when your style of celebration changes..as you gets married.

Now your spouse surprises you with surprise trips.

This is my 3rd birthday after marriage..and this time I just feel like staying at home .. sitting calmly in peace and that's the kind of day is itself seems to be a celebrations in itself.

Maybe we tend to expect less from people..from life.

Kind of celebrations keeps changing as you age or enter a new phase of life ..it may be being a wifey,mother !!

Accepting  it and embracing it !!

College life is always the best and having girls groups  is a blessing!!

Life has moved on ..every one is doing best at their pace .

You might not be talking everyday but you feel immense happiness..as soon as any new picture from any of your friend pop's up on social media sites ..

Some people gives you memories for lifetime and college friends are Indeed those.

You again get some gems at your work place and they can't be forgotten and I am blessed to have them in life...who keeps on reminding me of my college days ..all the fun 90's kids could have .. irrespective of the states in which they have grown up.

Note:90's kids have done almost all the things in the same way !!

If anything forgotten.. would love to hear!!

This blog post is part

of the blog ‘Blogaberry Dazzle’ Blogaberry Challenge

hosted by Cindy D'Silvaand Noor Anand Chawla

in collaboration with Mads Cook House

Tug of war between ❤️ and 🧠

Samiksha and Dhruv are pregnant of 5 months ..Their 6th month was about to start.

Samiksha was in Bangalore for her first Trimester and after that she came to her in law's place ..stayed their for a week and trust me it was the hardest week of her life ...crying crying ..no sleep ..as she wanted dhruv.. she went with Dhruv to Delhi after that ..as he took her with him seeing her condition .....and was staying from past two months.

After staying for two months she was feeling home sick ...and he was about to visit his parents but she didnt wanted to go to her In Law's place and instead booked tickets for her place..i.e Bangalore.

On the day of leaving ..i.e on 1st of March ...her flight was around 11:20 am.

As soon as she booked her tickets on 29th Feb ..she couldn't stop crying ...

You all might be like why was she crying??

She must be happy as she was about to leave for her own place.

But she was not happy 

Why so ??

As She just wanted to stay with Dhruv ..live and feel every moment of their pregnancy phase with him..whom she loved immensely..who was her life and vice versa.

In the evening as he was back from office..they both were very emotional and till next morning this time they couldn't decide whether to leave for her own place or in law's place ??

On the day of 1st March ...From 3:40am she couldn't sleep...and she was unable to decided whether to leave or not ?

She was facing the battle ...a war between her heart and mind.

This was the first time that they were not able to decided anything...she was just blank till 8am ..the time when she had to leave for the airport.

The last night they even tried to find out how to cancel the flight ticket and respective airlines refund policy.

In the morning twice or thrice they thought of cancelling but didn't do .

Finally,by 8:10am she cancelled it and didn't go to Bangalore and Instead decided to visit her in law's place along with him.

She was unable to understand what was happening and why she was not able to take one step.

What was this tug of war ?

Why this happened?

What was happening to her ?

Why she don't want to go to her home where she can her own time ...mental peace.

Is she the only one who came across such a situation?

This blog post is part

of the blog ‘Blogaberry Dazzle’ Blogaberry Challenge

hosted by Cindy D'silva and Noor Anand Chawla

in collaboration with Mads Cook House

Emotional Intimacy >>Physical Intimacy

Recently I came across one of the posts of my fellow bloggers...in which she has mentioned about Emotional Intimacy..and after reading it this word was doing rounds in my mind.

But What exactly Emotional Intimacy is  ??

Seriously saying I didn't knew about it ...we all may be going through this phase in our life or have gone through this ...but untill I read about it and gone through it ...I might never knew that how important is Emotional intimacy than physical intimacy.

According to my understanding..it is a phase in your life ..where you are naked of all emotions..I mean ...you have nothing hidden inside you ...you and your partner/husband becomes so transparent with each other ... sharing each and every phase ..part .. experience... whether it's good experience or bad experience..is being shared with each other.

That's when I can say .. emotional intimacy had been achieved..may be to some extent..or may be fully.

It's means your level of relationship has been matured level.

And when you are in this phase or have achieved it ...you guys becomes best friends ... sharing everything..having no burden inside you.

There is no scope of judgement...you both don't judge each other on your past experiences...like best friends.

And if there is anything..he/she will be the first person to explode everything.. whatever is going on within us.

Emotional intimacy is much more than physical intimacy.

There will no scope for any insecurities

And emotions can be shared freely with out any second thought.

This blog post is part

of the blog ‘Blogaberry Dazzle’ Blogaberry Challenge

hosted by Cindy D'Silva and Noor Anand Chawla

in collaboration with Bohemian Bibliophile

Being a Housewife is a Full time job !!

While scrolling through the Instagram I got across a clip of bbc ..on how a couple named Priyanka and Praveen decided to take some major decisions to raise their son Ojas.

Both of them were working but then they decided that till 6month of their baby boy Priyanka will stay at home to feed him and take care of him.As soon as he starts taking the upper food...other than mother's milk ..she will resume her work and Praveen will be leaving his job to take care of their son and house.

I was like wowww..he wanted to experience parenthood..so he quit job..and realised the importance of his mother's work.

See when I saw this ..I was like woww ..he left his job n all ..Indeed it's a good example for the society..new change to be seen ...a good change.

But when a women leaves her job after becoming mother ...is she appreciated by the society in the same way ?

It's considered that it's her job to give first priority to her family.

Being a Housewife is not at all an easy job...

Yes it's a full time job ..and I think each one of us who are house wives never ever shy away of telling they are so ..when asked ..what does she do ??

She must mention ..a proud HOUSE WIFE in her bio ...her introduction.

It's no less than any other work ..office or any business..etc

Once while having a conversation with my husband I was like yar being a Housewife is not valued in outside world .. I am nothing in the eyes of the world..he said .. it's a big lie.. myth that house wives are nothing...but they are much much more than any other person who is working to earn income ...House wives are the biggest support system for their family..doing multi tasking ...building their kids future ...they are the spinal cord of their husbands.. families.

You must never ever feel guilty or lesser than any other working women..you must be proud of being so if you have quit your job for your family.

Being a Housewife must be a choice ..it must be ones choice to do job or being a stay at home mom. 

This blog post is part

of the blog ‘Blogaberry Dazzle’ Blogaberry Challenge

hosted byCindy D'Silva and Noor Anand Chawla

in collaboration with Bohemian Bibliophile

Why Marriage Seems to be Scary But yet Beautiful ?

Marriage ..is an auspicious occasion...and every parent after their kids crosses 23+ ..or placed anywhere/started working..starts to take up this topic very often while discussions.

But 

Girls /boys are taking much time to think upon it ...before getting into any commitment...committed relationship like marriage.

Marriage is Scary for girls ..but why so ?

Marriage is beautiful when you get a loving life partner...a friend in husband...then it seems to be a fairytale...u would be enjoying every bit of it.

But .. but it takes a lot of thinking..time to make up mind to get into this sacred relationship.

Even I was one among them who was always scared ... irritated of this word.

I used to convince my parents..that I will stay with you ..will take care of you ..for whole life ...there is no difference between son and daughter.

You won't believe I have tried my best to convince them ...show all the points why I shouldn't get married..until and unless I met him and was able to see another angle ..or one can say ..other beautiful side of being in a relationship.

Initially,Why are we not able to say yes to marriage??

We girls always tend to fear ..to loose our freedom..right to take decisions regarding our life (as our parents has always allowed/encouraged us to do )

Change in the life style... dressing style ...formal behaviour and many others ..which can be experienced by only those are married.. because marriage is not a one day affair...real marriage started after that glittery.. celebration...of few days...Sangeet n all..other things.

When you are staying with your in law's ..u have certain Code of Conducts ..which daughter in law is supposed to follow.

Frankly speaking..I don't think any of married women like would love to follow them.

Being married in a traditional Rajasthani.. Rajput Family...I have seen vast changes in my life style..to thinking or disagreeing skills ..haha ...lol 

After Marriage. ..What were the changes 

-Change in dressing style.. wearing rajputi dresses...which I always hated before marriage...but slowly started liking it.

-YOu can't speak out your heart.

-Formal way of behaving.

-Sometimes saying No may offend them.

-lot many unsaid things.

May be we don't want any changes in our life..a kind of environmet/perspective..for which we have made lot of efforts to build.

All my notions regarding marriage was dismantled ...after I met him ...a friend for life but stilla we have our own share of issues ...when we have to stay away ..he for his job and me for my job along with my in law's.

This blog post is part

of the blog ‘Blogaberry Dazzle’ Blogaberry Challenge

hosted by Cindy d'silva and Noor Anand Chawla

in collaboration with Mads cook house

Maandvi and Urmila

Today I just thought of going through one of the videos of kunar vishwas...I had heard that he has started doing Ram Katha's.

I knew he is a good orator..heard from one of my friend that his Katha's are really good.

While listening to him ...when he was talking about Maandvi,wife of Bharat  Sri Ram's brother...tears started rolling over my cheeks.

I had the thaught in my mind ...How that lady might have stayed without her husband..with her.

No no Bharat has not gone for Vanwas along with Ram but it Laxman who had gone along with Sita and Ram.

Then ?

Why Maandvi and Bharat were not together?

Bharat has decided to stay in one of the Hut outside Ayodhya ...the way his beloved brother Ram was staying in Jungal ..devoid of all the Rajmahal/palace Facilities.

But,in all of this ...Brotherhood ...what was the mistake of Maandvi and Urmila( Laxman's wife)?

How they might have stayed without their husbands for fourteen years??

I am just putting my thoughts on their inner situations...it's a fact that they would have been getting all the palace ..Raj Mahal facilities..but is it enough??

What is more important??

 All the amenities or the company of your partner??

To be Frank 

Here,we can't stay for a day without our husband at in law's place ...how did they might have managed ?

I am just trying to understand their Dil ka haal ...as a women.

It's really really very tough.

It's not that in glorifying that it's the duty of wives to serve the In laws ...like maandvi was asked to take care of all the three mother in law's..Her inner feelings were somewhere not shown..or ignored ..I don't what will be the right word for it.

And you all might have heard about Rukmani ...wife of Sri Krishna.

When we think of Krishna ...we hear Radha as well ...Radhe Radhe ...Radha Krishna....the what about Rukmani...?

Rukmani's heart might not have pained ??

She also loved Krishna with whole heart..them why we remember or take her name very rarely.

Why all our religious texts ...ignored her character?

It's just that these thoughts popped in my mind and wrote it here...to get some answers...to clear this from my mind.

This blog post is part

of the blog challenge ‘Blogaberry Dazzle’ Blogaberry Challenge

hosted by Cindy D'Silva and NooranandchawlaNoor Anand Chawla 

in collaboration with Bohemian Bibliophile

Life without festivals

Recently a question popped up in my mind about the importance of festivals ..

Are they really important in life ?

If yes 

Why so ?

How would be life without festivals?

If there is no festival in our life what will happen?

Why these festival has been brought into our lives and so on.,..

But ,after analysing for much time and I could understand they are really very important in our lives .

If there is no celebration then our life will be boring...no excitement.

Some of us may loose interest in routine life.

We may go into depression..yes you heard it right ..

So, our ancestors....very old ancestors I can say .... centuries ago ..came up with the concept of celebration of small small things in life ... giving them form of festivals.

If you observe carefully our calendar...you might come to know how we are kept engaged in them one after the other.

Navratri...Dussehra... Diwali .. Sankranti..Holi....and many others ..

There are different festivals.. different ways to celebrate them in different regions.

When I went for my AFCAT's Mysore SSB..in one of the activity..a kind of testing you was through extempo..then I got the topic of Importance of festivals...I really don't know what I would have spoke then on the same topic back then in 2016..

But as you age ...you understand the importance...deep concept...reasons behind the celebration of many things ..to which you considered a mere celebration earlier.

It was the practice to bring the family together...family get together..

Even though earlier people stayed in joint families...lived near by.

But ,in this era where each one of us are settled in different cities.. countries in search of better opportunities...for education.

These festivals brings loved ones together..for few days..but still they come closer and get a chance to take a break from our busier schedules.

Seriously,life would have been barren without these festivals.

This blog post is part

of the blog challenge ‘Blogaberry Dazzle’ Blogaberry Challenge

hosted byCindy D'Silva and Noor anand chawla

in collaboration with Bohemian Bibliophile